I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
