billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
