he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
