remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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