I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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