In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Randomize