soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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