Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
