Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
