Already got asked if we're dating
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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