you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
