i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
if only i could text you this smell
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
