you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
