I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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