We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We have started to decorate penises.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
