i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
