I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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