we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
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I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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