i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
