At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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