About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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