I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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