Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
