During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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