dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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