I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Success! We fucked roommates!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
