Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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