every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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