I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
