just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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