a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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