what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
