the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
