She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
