I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
