I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
