our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
