While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
