yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
