im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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