Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
