This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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