i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
