Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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