Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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