I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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