Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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