is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
