No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
