didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
