I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
