I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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