oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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