Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
