i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
