We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
