I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
