If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
