I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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