Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
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If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
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Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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