oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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